The Fool - Duology
by Jade-Max
Summary: One sided love is not enough... Jaina gets an unexpected visitor shortly before everything falls apart for Zekk and is there to pick up the pieces. AU. 5 years post "The Joiner King"
1. The Fool

**Disclaimer:** Star Wars belongs to Disney and is the intellectual property of George Lucas; he created the sandbox. I'm simply destroying the sandcastles.

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**Title:** The Fool

**Author:** Jade_Max

**Timeframe:** 5 years post "The Joiner Trilogy" - Major AU

**Genre:** Angst

**Characters:** Jaina Solo, OC

**Summary:** Jaina gets a surprise visitor - and for reasons she's not expecting.

**Notes:** Inspired by the song "_I'm the fool, in love with the fool"_ sung by **Lee Ann Womack**

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**The Fool**

Whatever she'd been expecting when she'd come looking for Jaina Solo, the woman sitting alone at the small table in the corner wasn't it.

Pausing in the doorway to the pilot's bar, the statuesque blonde regarded the woman who was supposed to be Jaina Solo uncertainly. Slender, with non-descript brown hair and eyes to match, there were no real distinguishing features the blonde could see. Nothing that screamed of great beauty; nothing that was memorable in the distant expression on her face as she idly turned the glass before her in her hands. There was no reason why _this_ woman, Jaina, should have been her rival for anything - until she smiled.

It was an off kilter, slight lopsided and utterly charming tilt of her lips - but it transformed plain into pretty. A sparkle came into her eyes as she turned her face towards the waiter who bent to refill her glass, and it was that moment when the blonde knew this really _was_ Jaina Solo - the woman she sought.

Having seen her around before, the blonde had still wondered if she could have been mistaken; but she wasn't. A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and a sick twisting confirmed her worst fears; she would _never_ live up to this. Jaina Solo was an icon, a paragon who had fallen only to rise from the ashes of her hell with wings of fire.

It was no wonder her marriage was falling apart because of her.

Taking a deep breath, the blonde entered the bar and headed straight for the corner table. As she made her way towards the table, her lips tightened as she thought about everything she'd ever heard about Jaina Solo - and wasn't reassured. Her name was a daily word spoken in their home; _her_ name was one her husband couldn't forget no matter what he said otherwise.

But even as she crossed the room, the brunette seemed completely unawares - and flirted or teased with each of the men who went by her table. And there were many. Nothing serious since Jagged Fel had been killed in action more than 5 years back during one of the last engagements during the whole Killik fiasco, if the rumors were to be believed. That didn't stop Jaina from enjoying herself.

The blonde paused, waiting as the waiter flirted with the brunette before disappearing to another table. Swallowing hard, she stepped forward.

"Jaina Solo?"

Those laughing brown eyes came upwards in idle curiosity - and then widened as they took in the blonde's appearance.

Long hair that brushed her hips, plaited in a single braid down the center of her back; fashionable half-boots paired with a conservative - but expensive - skirt and blouse. She'd dressed well in anticipation for this meeting, needing the extra confidence the clothing and height gave her.

"You don't know me, but I know who you are; I know you better, in some ways than I know myself... do you mind if I sit down?" she glanced at the vacant seat across from the Jedi - and sank gratefully into it when Jaina only nodded curiously - before continuing. "I know I'm not familiar to you, even though I'm sure you've heard my name - but I understand that you don't know me on sight; we've never been formally introduced."

"I don't spend a lot of time planet side," was Jaina's quick retort. "Just who _are_ you?"

Whatever small hope she'd been holding out to be recognized, she knew now it had been foolish. There was no reason Jaina would know her; no reason Jaina would recognize her; she hadn't come to their wedding. Taking another deep breath, she managed a brittle admission - one that cost her more from the outset than she thought... but one that was needed to bring this conversation to where it needed to go. She had no intention of dawdling in Jaina Solo's presence.

"I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you."

Jaina blinked, the accusation having been dropped softly, but without much inflection - and gave her the clue she needed; there was little doubt as to the woman's identity. Without inflection, her tone carefully neutral but dead certain, she identified the woman. "You're Zekk's wife; Zira - right?"

She inclined her head.

Jaina sat back and examined the blonde as she knocked the contents of her glass back. Her gaze was assessing, contemplative - as if seeing her for real this time. Seeing her for who she was and not what; seeing her for who she'd married. Whatever Jaina saw, it wasn't etched on her features, and her brown eyes gave away little - but there were questions in those eyes.

Zira endured it; she was used to being watched and looked at - it was a part of her profession.

"I'd heard he married a model, I just didn't realize he'd picked such a knockout."

"Thank you." Looking around, Zira searched for the waiter. "Do you have a few minutes?"

Glancing down at her near-empty glass, a sour tilt hit Jaina's lips. "Not as many as I'd like."

"I'll buy you a drink - or even two - but there's something I came here to say... something I _need_ to say to you. Will you listen?"

"I'm not sure you should be talking to me."

Neither was she. "It's about Zekk." Blue eyes met brown as Zira tilted her chin and allowed her inner barriers to fall - to let the other woman see the strain she was under at home; to see the desolation in her gaze. She had little pride when it came to her husband and she wouldn't be put off by evasiveness. "There's no one else I can talk to about this; it has to be you."

There was a pause before Jaina lifted her arm and caught the attention of the waiter. She held up two fingers with a nod to Zira before dropping her arm. The waiter nodded in return to the silent signal and bent to prepare the drinks. Jaina turned her gaze back to Zekk's wife, assessing her silently before finally capitulating.

"All right; you've got my attention."

It was what Zira had been hoping for - and dreading. But she needed to do this as much for Zekk as for herself. She waited until the water had brought their drinks before wrapping her hands around the glass. Keeping her gaze steady on Jaina's, she began. "What do you know about my marriage to Zekk?"

"Other than your whirlwind courtship?" Jaina's lips curled back in a semblance of a grimace. "Only as much as he lets me."

Pain squeezed Zira's heart. "Then you know he's still in love with you."

"_Was_, Zira; I haven't seen him in a long time." _Too long._

The last wasn't said, but it hung between them for a long moment before Zira said what she'd come to say. "_Is_, Jaina. He dreams about you, talks about you," tears misted her gaze. "I know what to look for; I feel the way for him that he feels for you."

"I doubt he dreams about me," Jaina scoffed.

"No? Just last night..."

* * *

_Zira woke with a start, the soft moan that had woken her was accompanied by the restless shifting of limbs under the covers. Rolling, she turned to face her husband. His face was covered in sweat, the long hair she loved to run her fingers through was clinging to the sides of his face. He tossed his head as she watched, caught in the web of his dreams._

_"Zekk?"_

_Pushing herself up on one elbow, she looked at him concerned. It wasn't uncommon for him to have nightmares about his past, but it had been almost a year since she'd seen him sweat these kinds of bullets. Normally his dreams were something from which he could wake himself, but sometimes he needed her help. She reached for him, intending to do exactly that, except the word that passed his lips shocked her._

_"Jaina!"_

_Zira froze as he called Jaina's name a second time, his head thrashing back and forth. He was getting more agitated, more unnerved - and he called for Jaina again. The longing and pain in his voice slashed her to the quick. Her hand clenched, dropping away, but she couldn't turn away from him. _

_It was in these unguarded moments she'd come to realize where his heart truly lay. Jaina had ensnared him young; he'd been in love with her since he was a teenager and Zira had been foolish to think she could replace such a paragon. Wanting to do something, anything, to help him - but knowing she wasn't what he needed or wanted at that moment, her hand dropped back to her side. Swallowing back the tears that burned in the back of her throat, she withdrew from him._

_Zekk's head whipped back, away from her as his body shuddered with an invisible blow - or something else - she couldn't see. The battle eased, and he quieted for a moment. Believing the dream to have passed, Zira started to ease back to her pillow - only to be stopped when he spoke again, whispering Jaina's name tenderly. Almost as tender as the way he hugged his pillow close to his chest and reached for her._

_Except he wasn't reaching for her, he was reaching for _her_. _

_With tears blurring her eyes, Zira rolled out of bed and blindly reached for her robe. She couldn't stay with him and be what he needed in these moments; she couldn't pretend to be the woman he yearned for. Couldn't pretend to be something she wasn't._

_Experience told her that he wouldn't remember his dream come morning, but he'd be reserved and withdrawn. Zekk would stay abed late to ensure their path's wouldn't cross until that evening and once she left for work, he'd pull out the old holos of his teenage years. Holos she couldn't bear to have in the house any more than she could bear the pain in his gaze when she'd asked him to pack them away. Instead, she pretended she didn't know he had them; it was easier to bear her own pain than to cause him more. _

_She loved him too much to do anything else - and it was killing her._

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There was silence between the two women for long moments as Zira stared at her glass through misted eyes and it was Jaina who finally broke it.

"I didn't know."

"Don't lie to me." Lifting her gaze, Zira pinned the Jedi with a look. "I know about the bond between the two of you; I know how closely you were joined when you were a part of the hive mind. I _know_, Jaina. I know he... he still feels your emotions sometimes - so it stands to reason you can still feel his."

"It's been a long time."

"A whole what - twelve hours?" Zira tossed back sharply before downing the contents of her glass, coughing as it burned a path down her throat. She held up her hand to forestall whatever Jaina was going to tell her. "I'm sorry, I didn't come here to take out my frustrations on you."

Jaina said nothing..

Rubbing her fingertips over her temple, Zira closed her eyes for a brief minute and was unable to keep the defeated tone from her voice. "I'm just so... _tired_ of fighting a battle I can't win. We have nothing in common you and I. You're from a privileged background - mine mirror's his. You're a cute tiny brunette - I'm a knockout leggy blonde... and yet I don't hold a candle to you." Dropping her hands, Zira clenched them in her lap and stared at them as the skin at her knuckles turned bloodless.

"Love, I'm told, can overcome all obstacles and make your dreams come true. We've tried and we've tried and I keep telling myself that today is the day he'll see me for me - not as your replacement. I love him _so_ much... but he loves you. He loves _you_ the way I love him."

"I'm sorry - but you can't hold me responsible for his feelings. I can't control them anymore than you can."

There was contrition in Jaina's words, but no guilt - and Zira realized she wasn't surprised. Here was a woman who took no responsibility for the way others viewed her, not even a man she'd once been closer to than anyone. A man who'd been devoted to her, and still was to this day, to the exclusion of everything else. Brushing away her tears, Zira nodded sharply before pushing abruptly to her feet.

"One last thing, Jaina."

Jaina lifted her eyebrows, waiting - and Zira didn't keep her waiting for long.

"I didn't come here to rag on you, or put you down - contrary to the way it may seem. You're not in love with Zekk the way I am; I can see that - I _know_ that... but it doesn't matter. _He_ is in love with _you_. Always you; only you. With his heart in your hands..."

"I never wanted it."

"Wanted or not it's yours - and you've broken mine because of it." Straightening, Zira dropped a credit chip on the table. "If you have any power over this strange bond between the two of you; if you have any last resort to sever it, I beg of you to take it before it destroys him. He can't live as an extension of you anymore than I can of him."

Without waiting to see what, if anything. Jaina would say, Zira headed for the entrance. She stopped in the doorway, looking back to meet Jaina's gaze. But the brunette was already looking for another refil and flirting with the waiter. Zira's shoulders dropped and she shook her head as the ache in her chest that was her constant companion returned tenfold.

She was a fool to have believed the other woman would care; but at least she'd tried.

_fin_

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**Author's Note: **Don't ask where this came from; I haven't a clue. I just heard the song and couldn't resist - it hounded me until it was written. Scary creatures, those plot bunnies, when they get to be rabid.


	2. The Fool II

**Disclaimer:** Star Wars belongs to Disney and is the intellectual property of George Lucas; he created the sandbox. I'm simply destroying the sandcastles.

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**Title:** The Fool II

**Author:** Jade_Max

**Timeframe:** 6 years post "The Joiner Trilogy" - Major AU

**Genre:** Angst

**Characters:** Zekk, Jaina Solo

**Summary:** One sided love is not enough...

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**The Fool II**

Two toned emerald green eye stared into the blue liquid as it swirled around in the glass, drowning him in the color as much as the heady feel of the liquor running through his system unchecked. The shade reminding him of his wife's eyes; sparkling, shining and completely open with love and laughter - until he'd killed it.

His lips tightened, and he knocked back the rest of the drink, as much to banish the memory as to rid himself of the reminder.

Wife.

Right.

Ex-wife was more accurate.

Reaching for the decanter that sat on his desk, he paused before pouring himself more of the same liquid, seriously debating throwing it across the room. Instead he pushed to his feet and headed for the liquor dispenser. One of the perks of having married someone incredibly successful and wealthy was that just about anything was on tap and he wasn't restricted to a liquid that reminded him of her.

It was a shame it'd be all gone come morning.

Or rather, he would be.

It was part of their mutually beneficial agreement; he would give her back her life and her freedom, and he would get some kind of credit compensation. It was the agreement they'd come to almost a year to the day today; a year to the day after she'd confronted him on his feelings for a certain Jedi he'd once been linked to as closely as she wore her comm. implants. A year to the day after Zira had left him because she refused to be 'the replacement' any longer; a year to the day he'd been forced to take a look at himself and realize he didn't much like what he saw.

Especially not when the whole divorce had taken less time to negotiate than their wedding plans.

_Keep it up and you'll kill yourself._

The thought intruded without warning as amber liquid splashed into his glass - a rare Corellian Brandy - and his hand shook, splashing his fingers.

_Jaina?_

_Are you drunk?_

He must be; she couldn't communicate with him this way unless he consciously allowed her; and when he was drunk, that permission seemed to be given automatically. It was a testament to his willpower that he could count on one hand just how many times he'd been drunk enough for her to intrude without his permission.

Normally it was a signal that he'd had enough.

Tonight, he didn't care. _Not drunk enough, _he replied silently, tossing back the amber liquid with a gulp before filling the glass again. _Why do you ask?_

_I just saw the holo-news._

He wished he couldn't picture her; Jaina was likely sitting in her posh apartment, lounging on her sofa with her head back against it, her brown hair spilling across the back, her eyes closed as she 'spoke' with him; it was a pose he remembered well from her own memories. Memories he'd once shared as intimately as the closest of lovers. He shied away from the thought, instead focusing on her statement.

She'd just seen the holo-news... what would a segment of that trash-spewing filth be- ah.

Right.

The reason he was drinking.

_Are you okay?_

He laughed, unable to help himself, the dark sound resounding through the room to mock him. Okay? He hadn't been okay since before his divorce; before his disastrous marriage; since before the whole Joiner fiasco. Hell, if he was honest with himself, he hadn't been 'okay' since before learning he had the same abilities to use the Force as the Solos; or even better, since before his parents had died on Ennth.

Chalk it up to another disappointment in a long line of disappointments he could claim personal responsibility for.

_Should I be?_

Jaina was suspiciously silent for long moments as he sipped on his refilled glass, leaning against the wall by the dispenser.

_You did agree to the divorce; wouldn't that mean you should be happy she found someone else?_

Happy.

His lips twisted.

If he'd only realized then what he'd come to understand too late - what he'd come to understand now - as the rare gift he'd willingly surrendered, this whole mess wouldn't be happening.

_No offense, Jaina, but don't you have someone else you should be messing with?_

_No; you need me._

_Since when do you care?_

Even as he thought the hurtful words, he knew the answer; she always had. Jaina simply hadn't cared about him 'that way' no matter his feelings for her. Kind of like his feelings for his wife; Zira had always wanted the wedding more than he had - he'd simply gone along with it, thinking the attractions she'd confessed to him would eventually bloom into the love he saw in her eyes for him. Instead, he watched that love smother and fade - and it was his fault.

All of it; marrying her hadn't been his brightest idea.

Jaina didn't respond and Zekk hoped he'd pushed her away, consciously concentrating on blocking her out even as he hoped it, while secretly hoping he wouldn't be able to. Jaina had a talent for bluntness he'd never mastered and a quick smack upside the head might just be what he deserved right now - at the very least. Still, when she didn't respond, he couldn't help but feel like a jerk.

What right did he have to feel hurt that Zira had found someone to worship the ground she walked on when he couldn't? What right did he have to feel anything but grateful she was finally with someone who loved her the way she deserved?

None.

Not that it had stopped him from getting ripped.

Suddenly disgusted with his hypocrisy, Zekk placed his glass on the edge of the dispenser and straightened. The world wove and dipped around him and he braced his hands on the wall to help it stop spinning. Closing his eyes, he focused. The Force slipped into his unstable grasp with such force he gritted his teeth as sweat popped out on his forehead. Discipline from having done this many times was second nature, and he quickly counteracted the alcohol in his blood stream.

Usually he did it as he was sipping lethal levels of alcohol - this time he hadn't cared.

Clear headed, he opened his eyes, feeling the sweet, sticky after taste of the expensive and not so expensive liquers he'd consumed coating his mouth. Pushing away from the wall, he quickly scanned the office that had been his the last five years before turning on his heel to leave.

The pain followed quickly - a pain of loss he'd never really shed - but this time, instead of wallowing in it, he forced himself to confront it; as Jaina had needed to upon Anakin's death; upon Jag's death; upon Jacen's death. She'd mourned for brothers and a lover - Zekk mourned for himself. For not seeing what he'd had until it was too late; for not realizing what he'd lost until someone else had shown her what was missing.

Zira deserved better and she'd found better; he had no right to begrudge her that.

A quick sweep through the house and a stop in the bedroom, that had stopped being 'theirs' a long time ago, had him packing a single bag, his own credit chit, toiletries and the bare minimum of what was actually his. His lightsaber had been on the bedside table and clipped to his belt almost before he'd given it any thought. His bag over one shoulder, he took the time to pen a short note on a nearby flimsi before heading to the main door. There, on the board Zira had always used to leave him notes, he placed one for her. Right next to the 2D holo of Zira and her new husband; a not-so-subtle reminder of her newfound happiness; a happiness that no longer included him.

Gently, regretfully, he traced her smiling face, remembering when she'd once smiled that way at him - and what a fool he'd been to see it only in hindsight. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to the hologram as best he could. A sad smile accompanied it; the holo was exactly like she was now to him - insubstantial. Exhaling, he let his regrets go in that breath and pushed back from the board.

His path was set, his course diverting away from her and it would be better for both of them. Without another word or look around he palmed open the door - and stopped.

Jaina Solo, leaning against the side of her speeder with both arms and legs crossed, waited for him with that roguish grin he'd never been able to forget - and wouldn't forget if he lived to be a thousand. She pushed away as he stepped through the portal, his fingers tightening on the handles of his bag.

A slow, deliberate perusal of him and then the residence behind him, made her cock an eyebrow. "Pretty far from the vents you used to crawl through."

"And the fountains we used to play in," before the door closed behind him, Zekk pulled his access pass from his pocket and tossed it inside without looking. He was confident it would land where he wanted it to. "What brings you by?"

A not so subtle reminder she'd never been here before - and that he'd been snapping at her.

Jaina pushed off the side of the speeder, motioning towards his bag. "Seems like you could use a lift."

"Even after-"

"Of course," her smile faded some, her brown eyes turning serious. "I know you, remember? No matter what you _say_, I know it's not directed at me."

"Are you going my way?"

"To hell in a hand-basket?" One dimple flashed in her cheek. "Probably."

He cracked an unexpected smile; Jaina Solo had always been able to lift one of his bad moods - even when she'd caused them. "Can you give me a lift?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Is this a one way trip?"

"Why, you thinking about saving me if it's not?"

Her smile softened and he could see the way she was thrown back in time to an easier time with his hard-won tease. Her words though, were anything but a tease, her tone having turned deadly serious. "It's my turn, isn't it?"

Without a backwards glance, Zekk headed for Jaina's speeder and whatever future awaited him beyond this chapter in his life. Closing the door was like closing the book; the story was over without the fairytale ending he'd expected for himself and it was time to move on.

The note behind him would wait for her the way Zira had once waited for him - and expressed all his regrets and hopes for her.

_Be happy Zira; it's all I ever wanted for you - Zekk_

_fin_

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**Author's Note**: Couldn't resist; I re-read "The Fool" the other day and this jumped at me - and Zekk deserved it :þ Rabid plot bunnies...


End file.
